Luscious Quickbed, the Disarmingly Lazy

[Luscious Quickbed]

Character Name:
Luscious Quickbed, the Disarmingly Lazy

Character Alignment:*
180 degrees from effort, generally

Desired Affinity Element:
Neon. As a noble gas its primary purpose is to provide an inert atmosphere. Pretty to look at, but with little practical value.

Village:*
Chastenaught, a modest village at the base of Mt. Frequent, one of the Lost Isles

Age:
23

Rank:*
Rank would imply ambition, which is quite beyond the scope of Luscious’s character

Gender:
Luscious invites you to determine this for yourself

Starting Inventory:*
A relatively fashionable outfit and a ridiculously charming smile

Appearance:
Black hair, emerald eyes, average height, toned despite his sedentary nature, a face some have described as “chiseled by Aphrodite on one of her more lustful days.”

Combat styling:
Luscious prefers to use his words and posture (typically prone) in battle, lulling enemies into a false sense of security through sheer lack of threat. This is only to alleviate the boredom, however, as his cursed biology repels all but the most powerful attacks.

Character Personality:
Belittling, but tends to offer his superior point of view in a humorous fashion. Extremely lazy and self-centered. Rarely aids others without the promise of personal gain. Absurdly successful with women.

Background Info:
Born in the village of Chastenaught, Luscious had a fairly normal first few days of life. This ended when a visiting sorceress, Vindicia, was slighted by Luscious’s father, Lascivious.

Lascivious, in strict accordance with his village’s long tradition, bedded the sorceress with no intent of seeing her again—but, of course, with no specific intent of not seeing her again, either. Unfamiliar with such custom, Vindicia was mortified to learn of Lascivious’s wife and child. In a vengeful fit, she bestowed upon the young Luscious three great powers: near immunity to all forms of attack; the ability to speak and understand all known languages; and a third skill he would not discover until much later.

“Your selfishness,” she told his father as she mounted her horse, the last he’d ever see of her, “will be punished through your son.”

No one understood her meaning until Luscious’s third year, when it became clear that he had no desire to use his gifts for anyone’s benefit but his own.

“Love thy neighbor” summed up the major moral philosophy of Chastenaught. While Luscious could certainly adhere to the most physical interpretation of this value, his utter lack of empathy did not mesh well with his peers. Incidentally, he won first prize in the village’s first (and only) See The World competition, which struck him as somewhat odd at the time, as he did not recall entering it. The prize was first-class accommodations aboard the Slippery Kitten, a vessel bound for the mainland.

The female villagers just approaching the age of consent were heartbroken to see him go. The rest helped him pack.

RP sample:

Luscious got to his feet, startling the surrounding goblin guards, who belatedly raised their weapons to his throat.

“You said he was unconscious!” growled the goblin king.

“He…he was!” replied one of his chief mages. “I cast the spell myself!”

The king regarded his quite conscious captive.

“Why did you pretend to sleep? Did you think this trickery would allow you to assassinate me?” The king bellowed, his haughtiness echoed by his guards.

“No,” said Luscious, dusting himself off. “I just didn't feel like walking.”

The laughter died out.

With a glance from their liege, the guards thrust their blades into Luscious. Rather, they thrust their blades in a direction that should have resulted in them being inside Luscious.

Luscious, unharmed, winked at the goblin queen.

The king roared, leaping from his throne with unexpected deftness, drawing his blade in midflight. The magic-imbued weapon swung straight and true, connecting with the top center of his target’s head.

Luscious fixed his hair as the king stared dumbly at the broken sword in his hand.

The queen was transfixed as Luscious approached. Nearby guards raised their spears, but the effort was halfhearted at best. No lover of humans, she was as puzzled as she was enamored with this startling specimen. He took her hand, applying a kiss that sent shivers through places that had stood long unshivered.

“Thank you, my gracious hosts. I’ll see myself out.” Luscious pocketed the magic ring liberated from the goblin queen’s finger, leaving behind him a wake of confusion, jealousy and sexual frustration, as was typical.

[Yeorl Oakenleaf]

*Shrug*

[Zage Wavemourn]

The rp sample was quite entertaining, but perhaps you could take it sliigghttlllyyyyyy more seriously? The humor and character is great, but it would be better to make make what the character does humorous, rather then the character himself. Also, if you could add a picture of him!

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